Deuteronomy 6:5

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." Deut. 6:5

ok, i'm going to gush for a bit. i just talked to a friend and that got me in the writing mood. i'm struggling right now with feeling a little too loved. i know that sounds stupid and very conceited, but hear me out before you make a judgment, though i may deserve it.

being home has been really wonderful. i've been able to spend a good amount of time with my family and didn't have a problem getting two jobs, which are consistently working themselves out schedule-wise so there are no conflicts. both of my bosses and it seems all of my co-workers really like me. my mom and john tell me often how much they like having me around and that i "don't really need to go back to school... wink wink." at taft, i work with a bunch of guys who seem like good guys, but i think that pennie is trying to set me up with one of them by the end of the summer. and honestly, i don't think that many of them would have objections. of course, they're more than likely thinking something entirely different than i am.

the result has been a frustration in a sense where i just want to mess up so that they stop thinking i'm so great. but at the same time, the Lord has been so faithful in motivating me to work hard and well for Him. so i'm in a bind of sorts. today i found myself thinking, as pennie told me about this new guy coming to work there next week, that i just want a guy who loves the Lord more than he loves me. i want him to love me because he sees me loving the Lord and wants someone like me to work alongside him in serving God. it makes it easier in my own mind to set that straight, but how much of that do i tell others? what is appropriate in the workplace? i just need to keep praying. the Lord is in control and it's been amazing seeing Him work. pray that i'll really be seeking His approval and not that of men. meanwhile, keep seeking Him. He's truly all that matters. God bless!