the end

endings are sad. i've determined that no matter how much you prepare yourself for what is to come, you will never be completely ready to take it on. as i say goodbye to friends i may never see again, i'm reminded of the Lord's faithfulness and His sovereign plan. it amazes me that He has planned this day for me to be getting ready to leave so many people i've come to love and return home to others i have never stopped loving. yet it's still hard leaving.

looking over the past nine months of my life, i see so clearly how very blessed i am! people have invested so much of their lives into mine and i wonder if i've made any difference. what kind of an influence for Christ do i have on others? do i spur them on to love and good deeds? do i pour myself into others? i guess it's good to see how much i fail so i will keep begging for the Lord's grace which i am so undeserving of.

it seems that these past two years have gone by so quickly and i would imagine that the next two will go by just as fast. and then life. real life. i only have one more month before i turn 21. weird. for some reason that age means adulthood to me. good thing i still look like i'm 18 :-) i wonder if i could still pass for a high schooler? i hope not!

ok, i've somewhat cheered myself up, but i just realized that i'm getting up in 4 1/2 hours so i'm going to get a little rest before a day of reflection as i travel. i love traveling alone and just being quiet. it's nice to just sit and remember the last year and pray for those i've left and those i'm going to see. heather, be glad you aren't with me right now ;-) you know why. for real, i'm going to sleep. good night and God bless. the next time i write i'll be in MA!!!